Orientation

Well, nine hours of training down and we know everything there is to know about adoption! Ha! The nine hours of training is true, but we still have a LOT to learn. We spent the day, Saturday, with 6 other couples learning about the adoption process and all those involved. Generations brought in three couples who had previously adopted through them to share their stories. The first couple was sharing their story of adopting an African-American boy and a biracial little girl. They talked to us about opening our hearts to any ethnicity and how to handle it. They told stories of how they have tried to expose him to his culture and how they are learning the differences as well. It was pretty entertaining to hear some of the experiences they have had out in public (black child, white parents....you can just imagine!). My favorite was when the little boy was running away from his daddy in the grocery store, and the dad was saying "come to daddy" with emphasis on the DADDY so as to make it clear he was not stealing a child! Each adoptive couple shared the ups and downs of the process and how in the end, the Lord provided a special child just for them.
We also heard from two birthmothers who have previously placed a child for adoption. They shared the emotions involved in making that choice and how they have come through it. Listening to their stories, really dispelled the adoption myths that "birthmothers don't care about their child if they place them for adoption." This is far from the truth. They care SO much and love that baby SO much, they want to give them a better life, and so choose adoption. It was difficult to watch them re-live the experience and how it still effects them. Yet, at the same time, they each felt such a peace that it was exactly the decision the Lord led them to so many years ago. I am thankful they chose life! What courage these birthmothers have to make this choice in today's world!
A family practitioner came to discuss risk factors in pregnancy for birth moms who smoke, drink or use drugs. He gave a very broad overview of each, and how it affects the fetus.
The rest of the time was a lot of information and stories of the process and what we should expect. It was a LONG day, but was very informative. It was a nice time to be able to ask questions, hear other views, and clarify confusions about every aspect.
Brian and I left this training very encouraged that we were still on the right track, and that the Lord has a precious baby waiting for us. We are so thankful that we were able to attend this training so much sooner than planned! Right now the ball is in our court. We have a lot of paperwork to fill out and send off. As soon as we get this part completed and turned in, we will schedule our home study. (This is also when the first large payment will be due). Once the home study is over and we are 100% approved, they will start showing our profiles to prospective birth mothers! This is so exciting to think about!
Our prayer now is for our future birth mother and child......

Getting excited

Well, we are one more day away from the orientation, and I am anxious to go. We have lots of questions about everything! There is supposed to be adoptive couples and birth mothers there to share their personal experiences and give their advice about areas of adoption and how to handle certain situations. A medical professional should also be there to discuss risk factors involved with birth mothers who drink, smoke, or use drugs during pregnancy. This is the one we are most anxious to hear more about. We have to note what risk factors we are open to in our paperwork, and right now we really aren't sure how we feel about anything. Initially, we think we want a child who was not exposed to any of that, but the reality of that happening is most likely slim I would think. There is just so much we don't know about it that we want to dig a little deeper and find out.
We are also going to be having discussions about open adoption, and dealing with birth mothers. We will be at a little bit of a disadvantage because everyone else has already read a book about these topics. Since we just received notice about attending this training, we didn't have enough time. I'm sure it is not that big of a deal, but would have helped. See, this is why I keep telling Brian that we can't procrastinate on all this paperwork! God is liable to send us a child in a month if we aren't careful!=)
We thought we had 6 months to read that book! OOPS!

The bottom line is that from 8-5 on Saturday we will be soaking up a lot of information, and will be emotionally exhausted Saturday night! I am pretty sure I will have to work in a Pasado's dinner on the way home! Bring on the queso!! Anybody want to join us?!=)
Please be praying that we will have a more clear understanding of the risk factors involved and how we feel the Lord leading us in that direction.

God is good!

We heard back from the agency today and we are a GO! All is well with us taking 12 weeks each of leave time once a child is placed in our home. Let the prayers begin for financial security during that unpaid leave time!

Life's Amazing Inventions

Tonight I just experienced for the first time the most amazing thing EVER....skype! I got to talk to and SEE my niece and nephew who live 6 hours away! it was so fun to see them get excited when they saw me on the computer screen. We made faces at each other, they showed me their dance moves, and I got to see those precious faces. I sure miss them.....

Faith vs. Reality

We got some exciting news Friday night from the agency. One couple had dropped out of the January training class, leaving a spot available for us! This is six months sooner than what we planned because the next one available to us was in July. The excitement also came with a little uncertainty. Generations has a policy stating that at least one parent be a "stay at home" parent during the first six months of placement, and preferably beyond. We knew this going in, but thought it was just an ideal goal for them. Since Brian and I both plan on working, we were told we had to submit a proposal that explained why they should make an exception for us. The Board has to approve us before we can continue, and before they would allow us to attend the training on Saturday the 30th.
We spent the better part of Saturday mulling over our possibilities as to who would take off and for how long, and who would care for the child if we could not take off the desired amount of time. The struggle between Faith and Reality came in the area of finances. Taking the time off would not be a problem (thanks to FMLA). However, 4 or so out of the 6 months that we would be off would be WITHOUT pay! Now that will stress a person out! We are already working on financing the adoption but adding that cost in as well is overwhelming. We prayed a lot Saturday but just still didn't know if we should be realistic or step out on Faith.
We talked to some dear sweet friends at church who just seemed to confirm what we already knew. We needed to step out on Faith. My friend's words just hit me square in the face! "If you don't feel that God is just screaming the answer out, He probably wants you to step out on faith and He will meet you there." That is exactly how we were feeling.....no clear answer......until now.

We have typed up our proposal and will be sending it tonight to the agency via email. We have expressed our desire to continue working after the 6 months is up and why. We have shared what ethnicities we are open to in the adoption, and have explained why attending this training would be very beneficial to us as adoptive parents in answering many questions of our own. We also explained how we felt it was only fair that the birth mom have all options available to her in choosing a family for her child.
Brian and I are praying that the Board will see fit to make an exception for us and allow us to continue working with them. If not, we know the Lord is closing a door, and will lead us elsewhere. Please be praying with us.

Learning How to Blog

Brian and I thought it would be a good idea to create a blog for our family and friends who are wanting to stay informed about our process of building a family through adoption. I am still trying to figure all of this out so be patient.